FOR PARENTS: 10 TIPS FOR TALKING ABOUT BULLYING
Talking to your kids about bullying
1. Keep your emotions in check.
Parents are very protective of their children and it is only natural that you would have strong emotions regarding your child being bullied.
2. Empathize with your child.
Tell your child that bullying is wrong and it is not their fault. Let them know that you are proud that they had the courage to tell you about it.
3. Do not ignore it.
Acknowledge that your child is being bullied. Learn as much as you can about the bullying tactics, when and where it is happening, and who was involved. Let them know that you are there to support them and you are going to take action to address the bullying. Ignoring the issue usually leads to more serious bullying.
4. Teach assertiveness, not aggressiveness.
One of the most powerful things we learn from our parents is to speak up for ourselves – to state our feelings, opinions, and desires clearly. Compliment your kids when they respectfully assert themselves.
5. Teach anger control.
It’s not realistic to assume that everyone will get along all the time. Help your kids recognize when they’re getting angry and teach them to take a moment to stop and think before they act on that anger.
6. Teach safety strategies.
Teach your child how to seek help from an adult when they feel threatened by a bully. Help your child identify adults from whom they can get help. Assure your child that reporting bullying is not the same as tattling.
7. Teach problem solving.
When your child is confronted with a tough issue, have them talk through exactly what happened and what may have caused the situation. Work with them to identify several different ways in which the situation may be resolved. Follow up with them to see which solution they chose and how it is working out.
8. Do not encourage physical retaliation.
Do not tell your child to “just hit them back”. Hitting back is not likely to end the bullying, it usually escalates the situation, and your child could suffer consequences such as physical injury or suspension.
9. Help strengthen your child’s self confidence.
Help your child to develop hidden talents and positive attributes. Tell your child when they do things that make you proud of them.
10. Be the ultimate role model.
Talk the talk and walk the walk. If you want your kids to respect themselves and others, let them see that you are doing just that. Keep the lines of communication open.
