FOR YOUTH: WHAT NOT TO DO IF YOUR FRIEND IS ABUSED
Don’t put your friend down for being in an abusive relationship:
Don’t say things like, “I can’t believe you’re stupid enough to stay with someone like this!”
Don’t tell your friend what to do:
Don’t assume they want to leave or that you know what is best for your friend. The abuser is already trying to control your friend, so it is important that you don’t try to control your friend as well.
Don’t blame your friend:
Don’t ask your friend what they did to provoke the abuser. This will only reinforce any feelings of self-blame that your friend may already have and make it harder to expect the abuser to take responsibility for the violence.
Don’t put down the abuser:
Remember that your friend cares about their boy/girlfriend – badmouthing them will most likely cause your friend to feel uncomfortable talking to you about their relationship. Instead, talk to your friend about how you think relationships in general should be or shouldn’t be.
Don’t talk to your friend about the abuse in front of his/her boyfriend or girlfriend:
It may not be safe for your friend or you to talk about the abuse in front of their boyfriend or girlfriend.
Don’t try to physically protect or rescue your friend:
Abusive relationships can be very dangerous. You can’t help your friend if you put yourself in danger.
If you feel that your friend is in danger the best thing you can do to help your friend is to inform a trusted adult or you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline number listed on the About Us page.
